“The journey is the destination”
“Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.” — Naval
It’s great to set goals — done thoughtfully, they act as long-term north stars. But once they’re set, it’s easy to overly fixate on them and hold back permission to experience joy until they’re accomplished. How can we better enjoy the process?
Well, what should finally achieving a goal feel like? In my view, it’s just a final step — more symbolic than substantive.
Running a marathon takes 30-40k strides. If we only permit ourselves to feel joy for crossing the finish line, 99.997% of the race will be joyless. But if we embrace the ability to think while we’re running, take pride in combatting our inner voice, and more broadly smile at the fact we’re doing something hard, the experience becomes exponentially more meaningful.
Put differently, would you prefer to win the lottery or earn that money yourself? Maybe we’ll be 80 by the time we have that much, but it’s not about the final step. It’s about the companies we built, the people we hired, and the problems we solved along the way.
Doing something hard, whatever it is, reshapes us in its image.
How can we better enjoy the process (i.e., the incremental steps)?
- Zoom in until next steps become concrete (e.g., 1) draft a bullet point outline, 2) write a paragraph for each bullet point, 3) …); a planned process enables flow, while ambiguity requires constantly context switching between planning and working; these steps should be SMART and incremental
- Celebrate achieving these steps (e.g., run another half mile, write for 30 minutes); closed loops create momentum
- Keep a running log of tiny improvements and appreciate progress (e.g., evolution of a cleaner sentence, tighter arguments, faster feedback cycles, increase in strength)
- Leave open threads at the end of a session (e.g., a highlighted question or next experiment) to allow for an easier start next time